How To Fix Demyx
by dovekiie
Summary: uploaded for a friend. ffffff.


Once upon a time, Demyx decided to see how long he could hold his breath. Only, he forgot to start breathing again afterwards. And that is where Axel found him three hours later.

Axel: ...ohh...-sucks in air between teeth- Shit.

Xemnas: Shit, indeed Axel.

Axel: How long have you been there?

Xemnas: That's not important.

Axel: Uh, yeah it is, if you've been there all along you could have helped hi-

Xemnas: I SAID IT'S NOT IMPORTANT. Now what IS important, is you fixing this.

Axel: Why do I have to?

Xemnas: Because Saix won't.

Saix: I see no problem with this.

Axel: -stare- WHY DIDNT EITHER OF YOU HELP HIM?

Xemnas: -looks at Saix-

Saix: -looks at Xemnas-

xemnas and saix: ...-LOL-

Axel: -twitch- ...okay. fine. ill fix him. -looks at demyx- uh... -kicks him-

Demyx: -no response-

Axel: Well, I tried. -whistles and walks away-

Xemnas: Damn.

Demyx: Since it didn't work does that mean I get to breathe now?

Xemnas: No.

Demyx: Fudgesicles.

Saix: I still think it's kinda weird that he doesn't have to breathe to keep living...

Xemnas: When you think about it Saix, are any of us living? Are any of us...truly...living? -looks off into the distance-

Saix: ...riiiiight...

Xemnas: ...

Saix: ...

Xemnas: ...

Saix: ...-waves hand in front of his face-

Xemnas: ...

Saix: Aw crap.

Luxord: -walking by with a box of wine- What?

Saix: superior froze again.

Luxord: Oh...

Saix: ...yuuuup...

Luxord: ...wanna go get hammered?

Saix: -sunglasses- Does Lindsay Lohan want more cocaine?

Luxord: Fuck yeah. -highfives and walks off with to go get smashed-

Axel: -walking down a hall, sighing- Poor Demyx, I knew he'd never last. Oh well...I guess I'll just go hang out with my BFF ROXAS.

Roxas: No.

Axel: -jumps- Holy shit how long have you been there.

Roxas: I'VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH YOU ALL DAY.

Axel: What, seriously? But my pants are flat as a pancake.

Roxas: ...god dammit. -facepalm- Yes, I have. You suddenly took off after you set my scrabble board on fire.

Axel: TWENTY POINTS FOR THE WORD "CAT" IS FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Roxas: -stare- why do I hang out with you.

Axel: You know, at times I really wonder.

Roxas: -sighs and walks away-

Axel: Roxasssssss, I was kiddingggggggg, wait uppppppp. -Follows-

Roxas: -notices Demyx on the floor- ...what's wrong with Demyx?

Axel: He's not breathing.

Demyx: Superior told me not to.

Roxas: What, why?

Demyx: It was supposed to be some kind of trap.

Axel: ...wait how is he talking without breathing..

Roxas: What kind of trap..?

Demyx: I'm not sure..

Axel: Seriously guys how is he talking without breathing.

Roxas: Who was the trap for?

Demyx: For Axel.

Roxas: Ah.

Axel: Is everyone just going to ignore me- wait why would Superior want to set a trap for me?

Roxas: Oh, gee, I don't know, maybe that time you threw up in his desk drawer?

Demyx: Or the time you convinced Luxord to start drinking again?

Roxas: Or the time you told Demyx that Lexaus was a ginger and gingers don't have souls, causing the organization thousands in therapy sessions?

Demyx: -blink- Who's Lexaus?

Axel: Well in my defense if we had just let Xigbar take a bat to his head like I suggested in the first place things wouldnt have gotten so costly.

Roxas: You know taking a bat to Demyx's head isn't the answer to everything.

Axel: -grin- Yet it never gets less entertaining.

Demyx: Oh! There was that time you also set Superior up on that blind date with that transvestite!

Axel: AHAHAHAHAH OH YEAHHHHH...

Roxas: -confused- From what I heard, Marluxia had a splendid evening...

Marluxia: -elsewhere- ...I have the sudden feeling I just got burned.

Axel: Yeah, yeah, anyway, my point is there's no reason for Xemnas to want to set a trap for me.

Roxas: -rolls his eyes and goes over to the still frozen Xemnas- Do all middle aged people get stuck like this or just him?

Axel: Roxas! -offended-

Roxas: What?

Axel: They're not called "middle aged"!

Roxas: Oh, sor-

Axel: They're "Halfway-to-corpseville".

Roxas: ...

Demyx: -starts breathing heavily in Roxas' ear-

Roxas: Demyx cut that out.

Axel: ...! Hey! We fixed Demyx!

THE END.


End file.
